HT: Charles Johnson at LittleGreenFootballs: 'Iowahawk: Operation Steel Gazelle'
Dear God, this is very, very, very bad (Iowahawk, read more)...
As George 'W' Bush would say - "Being a Democrat and a Fool is Hard Work, You must be Patient..."
NANCY: Tell, us more Harry.
HARRY: Well Nancy, the first phase of our multi-faceted plan focuses on the number one key to restoring national security: getting Osama bin Laden. Even as we speak, this dangerous fugitive is still on the loose. As the leader of a Democratic majority in Congress, I will make sure that the head Army and Navy generals get a clear and unambiguous message: "Get Osama" is "Job One."
NANCY: But it is important to do smart too!
HARRY: That's right, Nancy. That's why our tough, no-nonsense emails to the generals will include pictures of Osama bin Laden, so they will know who to get.
NANCY: But whats about disguises?
HARRY: Way ahead of you Nancy! Using state-of-the-art PhotoShop smart computers, we will create simulated pictures of Osama bin Laden wearing a mustache, soul patch, trucker hat, and so on, and these will also be included in our emails. Then, the generals will distribute the pictures to the soldiers, and they can then make a surprise attack at Pakistan and get Osama bin Laden, no matter his latest look. Imagine the looks on the terrorists' faces!
NANCY: Me too! What is next, in the plan?
HARRY: Well Nancy, after invading Pakistan and getting Osama bin Laden, our plan will next focus on rapid American redeployment from Iraq. With terrorism finally a
thing of the past, we will need our American soldiers back here in the "good ol'
USA" to guard Osama bin Laden while he serves out a tough sentence in jail or an
innovative work-release program. NANCY: Sounds, smart! But what about
HARRY: Don't worry Nancy - before we redeploy the soldiers out of Iraq, we will pass a tough new assault weapons ban in Iraq to keep these dangerous weapons out of the hands of civil war gangs. We will back it up with a roadside bomb amnesty program, and after-madrassa programs for at-risk insurgent youths.